3rd June to 5th June

So I had a bit of wobble over these 3 days. I think that most of my posts have been positive but I am a bit like a minstrel (or an M&M if you’re reading in America!). So, I’m hard on the outside but once the crispy coating cracks then I am can very easily melt.

A couple of posts ago I posted all of the various hairstyles that I have had over the last year. I don’t think there was any purpose to the post apart from to show that I love to mix things up a little bit. So, I went along to one of the many networking events I attend and was chatting with the lovely Jo Howarth (of The Happiness Club) and she was admiring the new hair colour whilst telling me about the shock of seeing me blonde when the lady we were chatting to, who is lovely by the way, said “haven’t you seen all the pictures that Nichole has posted of herself?”. I immediately started to doubt myself. Why did she say that? Do I post too many pictures of myself? Do I need to stop posting quite so much? Now, obviously, all this was going on in my head whilst I still half listened to the conversation and continued to smile. Looking back a couple of days later when I had stopped wobbling I realised that she meant nothing by it but at the time I was suddenly stuck with insecurity. Which leads me to 2 questions. (1) why does it matter so much to me what people think, especially those people I don’t know too well? and (2) why do we hear some things in a different way?

The day after that incident I woke up in such a negative mood it was unbelievable. Luckily for the general population it was an office day so only people close to me had to suffer through the mood. Lucky for the general population but not good for my lovely mum and long suffering best friend as they were also in the office so did have to deal with the fallout. The saving grace was that I knew I was in a bad mood so I warned them that…I am in such a bad mood I could argue with myself!” Now I don’t know about you but I always think it is better to warn people when you are in a bad mood. It doesn’t make you any easier to bear but at least people know that it isn’t them but is completely down to you. Anyway, mummy and BFF just took the mick (if you’re not from Yorkshire that means having a joke at my expense!) but they were wise enough to do it at a distance, i.e. through social media, posting comments such as “at least she’s smiling!”

Saturday was a better day although as is the norm in my life it was still a busy one! Scarlett was dancing at the weekend. It wasn’t a bad weekend for her as she came 4th in her classical ballet, her troupe came 2nd and she got 1st and 2nd in the classical duet (she has 2 duets with 2 different people!) so it was good for her. It did make me realise that I need to put some effort back into Scarlett’s dancing. 2 dances have fallen off for her as she has outgrown them but the real issue was when it came to do her classical solo and she couldn’t get her tutu over her bum! We managed to get it on but it did involve a lot of buttock clenching…..and not just for the fear that it would’t go on.

Lets finish on a funny story. On Friday I made an emergency dash into TK Maxx to buy a pair of flat shoes as I had been walking around on a pair of very high shoes for days and I had another 3 hours of standing to go and I just couldn’t bear to think about it…or that’s my excuse for spending money! So, one pair obviously wasn’t good enough, I had to buy 2! When I arrived at the office on Monday one of the pairs was still in the car (can’t be letting Mr Roberts know how much I had been spending!!). I had planned for this so I went to the office in my flip flops in order to change when I got to the office, arriving in flip flops is not a good look for an accountant! So, I arrived at the office, unpacked all the stuff I seem to lug around with me then went and got my shoes out of the car. Right foot fitted perfectly but the left was really tight….so tight that I could barely walk. Made it back to my chair and thought “I need to do something with this shoe!” took it off, looked inside and…..I had only left the bloody cardboard inside!!! The shoes were suddenly more comfortable!

Next time…in the press and steps to sort out my mood!

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